The best sword fantasy there is
Added 11/10/2009
When Conan the Barbarian came out on video in 1981 I was one of the first to get it. The film has not lost the impact it had on me then as a 20 year old, and stands way out ahead of all those pitiable sword and sorcery films that came in its wake, including the appalling sequel Conan the Destroyer.
Why do I hold this so high in my esteem? Certainly not in the quality of acting; when you have two body builders, a surfer, a sports star and a dancer as five of the main actors in this film, then you're not going to get class acting - but there again this type of film doesn't need it. But having said that they did a fairly good job when the script required some emotion to be put in it. Bereavement, indecision, loyalty, friendship. It was all there. And revenge.
Revenge in fact is the thread that holds the story together. For that the co-writers John Milius (the director) and Oliver Stone must be applauded, for not only daring to depart from the path of the Robert E. Howard pulp books that gave the world Conan, but also to give us a coherent, tidy and enjoyable script that doesn't insult the intelligence (unlike the sequel). We have strong characters who you can sympathise with and bad guys you readily want to get their just deserts. Arnold Schwarzenegger in his film debut is perfect for the role, as is James Earl Jones as the main antagonist, the thoroughly evil Thulsa Doom who is so gripped with power he readily encourages a faithful follower to commit suicide just to prove a point to Conan.
And running along with the story throughout is a top quality score written by Basil Polidouris. From the moment the opening credits begin, there is a deep, throbbing percussive sound that can take the viewer to another time and place, and make them believe this is the music of this time. Mako's voiceover as the story is introduced is unforgettable and I recall when I first heard it it made my jaw drop. BANG! In came the theme tune. Gutsy, hard and a delight.
For me though, the one outstanding memory is the brilliant cinematography used when Conan is praying to his god, Crom, just before the final battle. He calls out for revenge, while the camera runs with the hard riding cohorts of Thulsa Doom, the music in the background. Fantastic cinema play, and one that can't be bettered.
This should never be remade because they could never do a better job. This has a great story, a great score, strong characters, unforgettable scenes, all of which sadly were missing from the sequel. I'm not bound by any loyalty to the pulp fiction of Robert E. Howard so I don't care that this film strayed from the 'true' Conan world.
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Who the Hell is Luis Barboo?
Added 10/26/2009
OK, was the Amazon server hacked or what? Starring Luis Barboo? What the bloody hell is going on here; is this an All Hallow's Eve prank? Could someone please explain how Luis Barboo can be listed in the lead role when we know it is 'the Governator'!
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"Conan, what is best in life?"
Added 4/18/2009
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."
"Ah, that is good!"
For those who are looking, you can find a little philosophy. For others, perhaps, it is an action movie, quickly moving through it's storyline. For others still, a bit of fantasy, something removed from our more mundane and civilized era. For a chosen few, it is a call to arms, a call to enter an age undreamed of. Join us, won't you, for a tale of high adventure...
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My favorite movie of all time
Added 3/5/2009
This movie explains a few things that I did not understand in the original movie. First and foremost, the Conan saga was not originally intended to be a stand-alone movie with a cheesy spin off. The original intent was to come back every few years and to do another movie similar to the James Bond format. With that in mind most of the scenes that got cut from the original was the parts that tied in to the larger story.
King Osric who hired Conan to find his wayward daughter was assassinated right after Conan left to find her. When Conan returns to bring her back to him he is basically putting her on the throne as the new queen. This would have led to the story of how so many Kings and Queens owed their thrones to Conan and led to the "Conan the King" stories.
Anther tidbit in this movie is how Conan made it through the Mountain of Doom to kill off Thulsa Doom. After Thulsa Doom tried to kill the princess, she realized he was just using her to piss off her father. In this cut the princess led and helped Conan through the Mountain of Doom to kill Thulsa Doom. In the original movie it goes from the end of the big fight to Conan turning up behind Thulsa Doom on the mountaintop but does not explain how he got up there. If you remember there is a comment on how the mountain was a maze of tunnels, when Conan and crew first went to grab the princess.
In the end this is my favorite movie of all time, in the times before Big Brother, when your strength and cunning was the primary factor in what shaped your destiny or fate. Before Arnold Schwarzenegger started his stupid one-liners, for the most part he talks very little in this move and is the one reasons I feel it is his best movie.
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Great action-adventure!
Added 1/26/2009
Let's face it, Arnold was great in the role, it was very well directed, and the cinematography was very good. It's a shame the follow-ups, Conan the Destroyer and Red Sonja were so horrible. I've would love to see Arnold return as King Conan. The supporting cast in the movie was good as well, from Mako as the comedic wizard, to Sandahl Bergman and Gerry Lopez as companions, to Max Von Sydow as a king, to ex-football great Ben Davidson as an enemy warrior. Now, maybe James Earl Jones wasn't a great fit as the warlord-king Thulsa Doom (see Jack Gwyllim in the similar film Jason and the Argonauts as King Aeetes for a better acted enemy warlord), but he was good. Bottom line, this was how Conan was meant to be done.
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When you combine Arnold, Wilt the Stilt, and Karen Arnold we guarantee you things will change
Added 11/5/2009
A couple years back Sid's first encounter with Conan didn't quite go as well as planned, especially in the eyes of the overly obsessed followers of the series. For some reason the original just didn't do it in the sense we were hoping for. After we posted a review we received more then a handful of vengeful basement dwellers looking to attack us for our opinion causing hours of laughter and enjoyment. Despite the first incident it only seemed fair to give Arnold a chance to redeem himself, and boy did he. By conventional Conan means this one may not be enjoyed, obviously by the obsessed section, but for people like us it should do just right. You get plenty of Arnold dialogue with plenty more action then we saw the first go round.
This time around we have Conan sent on a mission to save Princess Jehnna (best known to Sid for her roles as Karen Arnold and Betty Jo from Waynes World 2). Conan's on the mission in order to gain favor with an evil Queen named Taramis who has the powers to bring his deceased lover Maria Shriver. Obviously the Maria Shriver was a joke, so please don't get too serious over it and start casting spells on Sid. Anyway in order to complete his mission he gathers up a rogue crew complimented by the original a** man Wilt Chamberlain. It does provide plenty of laughs of the intentional/unintentional variety along with some good entertaining action.
Almost everyone who loves the whole Conan concept we certainly disagree with Sid when we say this one goes leaps and bounds above the original. Conan the Destroyer had the b element we were hoping for when we watched the original. Naturally we're not really into the whole magical fantasy type films, but still found enough to go four stars deep on this one. The addition of Karen Arnold was an absolute star simply from her being an amazing smoke show. Sid's always had a thing for her but had no idea of the sexy time powers she had back in 1984. The only thing the film could have used was a guest appearance from Wayne Arnold to push it to the 5 star maximum.
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Buy the Complete Quest instead
Added 1/13/2009
Note to everyone, it is cheaper to buy the Complete Quest. You get two movies for less than the price of one.
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Missed the mark, but still Conan
Added 7/28/2008
"Conan the Destroyer ", this disappointing sequel to the entertaining and well made "Conan the Barbarian" is an example of what happens when studios attempt to broaden the appeal of a movie for younger audiences. This movie tries to inject more slapstick humor and includes "big name" stars (Grace Jones and Wilt Chamberlain), while sacrificing much of the story line, effective characters, and raw action that made the first movie so watchable. The special effects were also weaker and often seemed out of place, making this a real step backwards.
If it wasn't for "Arni", it wouldn't be worth the price of the DVD. Recommended only for die hard Conan and "Arni" fans.
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