Greatest tagline ever!
Added 9/13/2009
"It will scare the crop out of you!"
Classic line, I love it. The movie isn't horrible as far as low budget farm ghost slashers go. I'd talk about some of the plot elements, but I don't really remember. A bunch of people get killed though.
2.5 stars. Grab this instead of that crappy Hollywood remake you're thinking about.
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Pathetic. Acting at Elementary School Level
Added 11/17/2008
This is [The] most amateurish, sorry, excuse for a movie I've ever had the displeasure of watching. It was so badly acted, and the "Special Effects" so laughable that I only got through 43 minutes before I took it out and returned it. There are Jr. High and High School productions better than this tripe. Please don't waste your time or money on this "bar coaster."
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DVD box makes a great pillow for when you fall asleep watching it.
Added 4/13/2007
Dark Harvest (Paul Moore, 2004)
Ho hum. Another group of young-and-beautifuls, another secluded house, another evil supernatural entity. Well, at least the young-and-beautifuls are young and, well, beautiful. Still, there's not a shred of originality to be found here. More likely to inspire yawns than screams, except in those places where the Y-and-Bs go swimming (sans bathing suits, naturally). At least that stirs some, erm, emotion. * ½
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aka Pure Crapfest
Added 11/26/2006
It will scare the crop out of you...
...And unless you ate this particular DVD, putting whatever comes out into your player will be more entertaining than this film.
To give credit where credit is due, the plot of this movie isn't too shabby. In the Great Depression, a hard-pressed farmer named Elijah Baker made a pact with the Devil: he would sacrifice the migrant farmhands that drifted from ranch to ranch in exchange for a bountiful harvest, stringing their corpses up on crosses and dressing them up as scarecrows. As depicted by a series of D-grade TV actors in the opening sequence, local law enforcement in "West Virgina" confront Baker when they suspect something, and in the ensuing shootout the farmer is eliminated.
Now, in the present day, Sean (Don Digiulio), a direct descendant of Baker, inherits the farm when his biological father--who has never met--dies. He doesn't want to even bother taking a look at the property, but his fiancé convinces him to make it a trip along with several friends. The young kids head out to the isolated farm and prepare to spend a week. Little do they know that on the coming "blood moon", the farmhands killed by Baker will take revenge on any of Baker's blood-relatives.
If this movie had a decent budget, a decent production crew, and a decent cast, this plot could have given way to a C-horror movie. Instead, what we are left with is hollow, poorly directed, terribly acted piece of trash so vile that it's offensive.
The acting is hands-down terrible. While the supporting cast is OK (how can you mess up saying typical "teen" one-liners?), the brunt of the script necessarily falls upon the shoulders of Don, whose only positive attribute is an ability to put emotion into saying the F word. Unfortunately, his borderline-mentally challenged mannerisms while swearing tend to ruin their effect. But, the best part of all...Don gets a haircut in the middle of the film. No joke. One minute, he's running from the scarecrows, bangs swinging in his face; the next, he's running from the same scarecrow sporting a more aerodynamic hairdo. Ah, but maybe the shooting last a year or so, and Don was left with no choice but to trim his hair? Maybe, except that it was filmed within three weeks. Never has the film world seen an actor so devoted to his craft.
The piss-poor acting could have been tolerable if, by some strange circumstance, the scarecrow monsters had been believable (i.e., they looked anything like they do on the cover). Instead, they are hopelessly crappy looking morons that stumble around and grunt and roar in rage as if they've seen this film. But wait, their eyes...they flash! Please. These are without a doubt the worst monsters to ever grace the silver screen; being direct-to-video, at least it wasn't a theater one (note: after seeing Dark Harvest 2, these creatures become only the second worst monsters of all time).
So, what will it be? Buy? Rent? Urinate on? I'd recommend the third, but that usually would necessitate either of the first two options, so I'm just going to go with AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
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You Reap What You Sow......
Added 3/3/2006
For a low budget movie, I did not find this movie as awful as others have. If you have had the misfortune as I have of seeing Dark Harvest 2, you will Really appreciate this movie!! Dark Harvest 2, which I also reviewed is one of the sorriest movies I've ever seen and has nothing to do with this movie. OK horror flick, especially if you like scarecrow movies. To sum it up, a young man inherits a old farm and brings along some friends with him to see if the farmhouse is in good enough condition to be sold. What they do not know is that years ago, a farmer killed his wife and hung her as a scarecrow. Naturally, we see the scarecrow come to life. Taking place deep in the isolated mountains, Dark Harvest has some good/cool scenes. I myself think the scarecrow is rather cool! I'd recommend renting this movie. I think anyone would say.... I've seen much worse!!
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A Chugging Travesty Edited with a Hacksaw and Duct Tape
Added 10/8/2009
Poorly-lit, excruciatingly-composed, badly-acted, and edited with a hacksaw and duct tape. The most remarkable thing about DH2 is that, somehow, the filmmakers managed to squeeze everything you could possibly do wrong while shooting a movie into one painstakingly-boring project. Evidently shot by someone who has never attended a single film class (nor even seen a successful horror film), this travesty chugs along for over an hour-and-a-half. Two girls and their dim-witted Dad are stalked (ha, get it) in a cornfield maze by a gaggle of cackling jack-o-lanterns and a rubber-booted killer, while attempting to solve the mysterious disappearance of a couple of autistic, conjoined twins... or something along those lines. Like it matters. Anyway, unless your idea of entertainment is watching someone run around in a cornfield for, like, HOURS, while being pursued by a headless chicken with a digital camera strapped to its back, don't even think about seeing this movie.
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Get ready to hate corn for the rest of your life...
Added 7/13/2009
Dark Harvest 2 is a tragic example of what can happen when someone has a cheap camcorder, a bad idea, no talent and too much free time. It's nothing new--lots of "movies" just like this are made every year in America, usually as jokes or exercises in student filmmaking. But unlike all the others, this one somehow got a mass DVD release.
First, a little background info: the Dark Harvest series is known (by very few) as a line of cheesy horror films about a killer scarecrow. At least, that's what Dark Harvest 1 and 3 are about. But not this one. Even though it has the Dark Harvest title, and there is a killer scarecrow with a scythe right on the front of the case, the disc, and the DVD menu...this movie has no killer scarecrow. None. Nor was it made by the same folks responsible for DH 1 and 3. But Lion's Gate released it anyway, and we are paying the price for their deception.
Now that you know what this movie isn't, I'll tell you what it is. Dark Harvest 2 is an unbearable amateur film about some guy who runs around shouting in a cornfield maze, looking for his two kids for an hour and a half. It is a confusing, poorly edited blur of the dad running, his daughters arguing and screaming, his wife waiting for them outside the maze (maize), a hundred shots of some guy's feet (the bad guy's, as it turns out), two dead girls who talk at the same time like in The Shining...and finally, lots and lots and lots of corn. You will dream about corn after seeing this. You will not want to eat corn again for a year. If you ever see a cornfield again, you will be tempted to set it on fire.
The director (Bill Cowell) is also the star and producer, and 95% of his movie takes place on a farm in some Midwestern town.The acting is very poor on the part of everyone involved. All the performers were probably local residents, and I am willing to let them off the hook to some extent. But there is no excuse for the atrocity that was the script. It sounds like something I would have written in the fifth grade. (Walker calls the killer "a coward-ous lame-ass," even though cowardice is a noun, not an adjective. And yes, the closed captioning does spell it "coward-ous.") Don't expect much from the music, either; most of it is that silly, droning noise you would hear on any generic "Halloween sounds" CD.
If you can watch Dark Harvest 2 without lapsing into a catatonic episode, you will find yourself wondering about many things. You'll wonder how people could possibly say those lines in front of a camera and think they sounded good. You'll wonder what could have been going through Bill Cowell's corn-addled mind when he decided other people all over the country should be able to see this. But most of all, you will wonder how and why it was released as a fraudulent sequel to a completely different movie by the most successful independent film company in North America.
The bottom line: Dark Harvest 2 is a dreadful, depressing bore. Only watch it out of morbid fascination. Or better yet, offer it to the film studies program of your local college, so all of the students can learn how NOT to make a movie.
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Absolutely, Positively, HORRIBLE!!!
Added 4/27/2008
Bought this video at a movie store that was going out of business for around 49 cents. Not at all worth the 49 cents to watch it! My home videos of my dog, is much more entertaining. The cover has nothing to do with the film. I'm so glad it's over...I'm giving it to my sister-inlaw, which I don't really care for very much. Hopefully she will know I don't like her after she watches it.
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